Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Literary Patrol

"Sir, that's the second time you've used a double negative without satirical or ironic intent. I'm going to have to ask you to put your hands behind your back. You have the right to a grammarian. If you do not have a grammarian, one will be appointed for you by the court. You have the right to remain silent and you are strongly encouraged to do so if you are unsure of noun/verb agreement . . ."

Saturday, Officer B invited me to join him on patrol which both surprised and delighted me. His patrol car strikes me as being his office and I worried about getting in the way, but he quickly put me at ease and we were flying through town with lights and sirens blaring. Quite an exciting change from my usual Saturday evening.

There were mad people behaving madly, and drunks drinking (and consequently driving through fences and into trees). My overall impression was that law enforcement would be far less busy if people wouldn't drink to excess . . . and take drugs. Less alcohol and drugs would be advisable.

Oh, and it is very hard to find time to eat. That radio never shuts up!

And police officers are very funny, albeit a bit gross.

And the police doggies look very sweet but can't be cuddled or spoiled on duty.

So, remember don't leave your modifiers dangling and pay your library fines - you never know when the Literary Patrol will be on the streets!

*I honestly don't remember where I found the picture, but it makes me laugh every time.


Renae said...

I actually had a young friend who was surprised when the police knocked on his door to arrest him. He was trying to scramble his brain, wondering if he had forgotten to pay his last parking ticket or something . . . when lo and behold, he had a library fine which had built and built to several hundred dollars! They actually sent the police!

I can't believe some of the ways our tax dollars are spent . . . but I'll bet he never forgets a library book again! ;-)

Hope you are feeling 100% now!

Feathering My Nest said...

Oh, Dear Mrs. Fox, If I only had the grammar you possess in your little pinky, I'd be sooooo much better off in life. I do try though. I shall not give up attempting to learn.

Your evening in the cop car sounds daring, exciting and dangerous. Do take care dear, and ask them to allow tea and crumpet breaks at least, for the frail; I suppose not.

I could not stand to be near such a sweet hound and not be allowed to pet him. It's difficult enough to be near those dear doggies on duty who aid the deaf as well. Mustn't touch, or even look; "Working Dog".

Have a nice quiet evening tonight and give those nerves a rest. Kathi

the mother of this lot said...

I love that picture! I would've had to correct it too - with my luck I'd probably have been arrested!

Mrs. Fox said...

Renae, Gosh I was joking! It's like the Mafia running your local library! And I'm really not that good at grammar. I have cheat sheets all over the place to remind me of my common mistakes.

Kathi, it was tough not to pet the dog. I have a soft spot for all animals. I'm pretty sure B would give me the stink eye if I suggested tea breaks.

Jacki, this makes me a horrible person, but I have actually stopped and corrected signs - but only when no one is watching. Improper use of apostrophes is one that drives me batty.

Anonymous said...

I hate the misuse of apostrophes too...although I've occasionally been guilty of it myself when I haven't spellchecked.

Sigh. Your life is so exciting. Are you sure there wasn't room for me in the back of the police car? I could do with a bit of distraction...and I love dogs. I have one myself, but he'd be no good, he licks everyone to death.

Liz said...

How cute. I'd have loved to see you in a patrol car! Glad you had fun, and the picture is cracking me up.

Jennie said...

I would have corrected the sign, but then probably got it wrong again!